ODD SHOES

Although I’m a serious and intense Scorpio I have a great sense of humor, and through the years I have even learned to laugh at myself more and more as I become a typical old woman. In fact I sometimes wonder if I have any pride left. Nothing seems to embarrass me anymore.

In 2002 I was still in the workplace. This particular day I had been at work an hour, when I suddenly remembered I had a 9:15 a.m. appointment to get a flu shot.  Frantic to get to to my appointment in time, I dashed down the hall to the elevator and pressed the button. One of my co-workers who was already convinced that I was in the beginning stages of dementia said, “Do you know you have on different shoes?”  I glanced down to see a taupe shoe on my left foot and a black shoe on my right.  The shoes felt the same but looked entirely different, and the light in my bedroom was dim when I dressed for work.  Refusing to give my nemesis the satisfaction of seeing my embarrassment, I flashed her one of my biggest Southern smiles and thanked her for noticing. I ducked into the elevator while calling back to the receptionist as the doors closed, “I will be going home to change my shoe before I return to the office!”

Chuckling to myself, I wondered how many people would notice my odd shoes.  I made a game of watching for reactions.  More than a few people glanced down at my feet then pointedly avoided eye contact. I couldn’t help smiling at them. I'm tall - almost 5'10", and people naturally glance down to see how high my heels are.

I entered the doctor’s waiting room and there was no doubt that people noticed my feet.  I sat down and pulled my book out of my bag and started reading, all the time suppressing a giggle. I sneaked a glance now and then at those who were definitely noticing my feet as they pretended not to.  I couldn’t conceal a grin as I spied on them. I was tempted at one point to stand up, open my arms and announce, “You can all relax!  I know I have on odd shoes, and I’m okay with that!”

            When I was ushered into an examination room and sat down, I stuck out my legs, wiggled my feet, and asked the nurse, “Have you ever done this?”  Puzzled, she stared at my shoes and dissolved in hearty laughter, admitting that she had once done the same thing. Unfortunately she had been young at the time, and she was devastated.

            I got my shot and left. On leaving the clinic I  pushed the handle on the automatic door and started through.  I noticed a lady at the other set of doors waiting patiently for hers to open.  When she saw my example, she touched the handle to activate the doors.  She was obviously embarrassed and muttered something uncomplimentary about herself as she walked through.  When we were both outside, I commented, “At least your shoes match.”  At her confused look, I pointed to my feet.  She immediately burst into laughter.  We walked along giggling like school girls, trading jokes on ourselves like two old friends.  After we parted ways I silently wished that we could all laugh at ourselves more often and that others would laugh with us instead of at us.

Lynn Ross

December 20, 2002